🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS in the Boringverse: Apple just decided that charging you extra for soccer is sooo 2023! ⚽🍏💸 The tech godfathers are finally letting ALL Apple TV subscribers (cue galaxy brain explosion 🤯) watch Major League Soccer games, proving once and for all that they can be both expensive AND generous—kinda like that friend who promises to buy you a drink but always forgets. 🙃💀 As of 2026 (yeah, we’re time traveling now), you’ll get all the MLS matches, All-Star games, and even the Campeones Cup for your regular subscription. 🙌 No more $15/month for the Season Pass! I mean, soccer fans everywhere are like: “Drake pointing meme: This is it, bro! 🎉” But let’s be real, Apple could sell ice cream and still charge you for whipped cream. 🍦😳 “Leaked developer quote: 'We’re just testing how much money we can squeeze from you before you seethe.' 🤖💰” So, is this a W or an L for the world of sports? Cope and seethe, football fans, but if it leads to a Tim Cook hologram calling every goal, I’m here for it. 🔥 My unhinged prediction? In 2027, you’ll need an Apple implant to watch. Stonks? MORE LIKE GONKS! 📈💀 Go ahead, share this. You know you want to! 👀💥