🔥🚨 BIG APPLE NEWS ALERT! 🍏💥 So, apparently, Apple is doing some *serious* spring cleaning 🌪️ by shoving health and fitness into the Services category 🤡 – like it’s that one aunt who just tosses all the unworthy decorations into the attic and calls it a day. 👀💅 In an epic plot twist, our boy Jeff Williams, the COO, is leaving us at the end of this year! Like, is he taking the Apple Watch with him?? 🕰️💔 Or just that juicy knowledge of how to charge $1,000 for a slightly upgraded phone? 🤨💰 According to my *super reliable* sources (shoutout to my imaginary friend), one dev said, “Honestly, we’re just trying to figure out if Apple Fitness+ is worth it or if I should just keep doing yoga on YouTube.” 😂💀 Drake’s “God’s Plan” plays softly in the background as they plan to utilize health data for… you guessed it, more targeted ads! 🤖📈 *Stonks!* 📈💵 But wait, here comes my spicy predic—brace yourselves—Apple Watch 10 will literally give you a heart rate alert when you’re thinking of buying an Android. 🤣🏃‍♂️💨 #CrisisAversion Get hyped, folks. This is fine. 🔥👀