🎉🚨 BREAKING: The Apple Cult Marries New Tech! 🍏💍 ✨ SO, Apple just dropped its latest gems, and it feels like we entered an alternate reality where the only thing more inflated than the prices are my hopes for innovation! 🤯💸 Let’s break it down like it's a TikTok dance challenge: First up, the *iPhone 17*—cause clearly, we needed a new model when our last phone upgrade was literally just a caffeine shot away ☕📱. Starting at $799, it's like they took a trip to the stonks balloon factory and said, “Let’s make it float!” 🤡💰 Next, the *Apple Watch 11*! Because apparently, we needed a smartwatch that can tell us when our life is the most on fire 🔥🔥. I mean, who wouldn’t want a watch that screams “THIS IS FINE” at you when your friends say they’ve upgraded to a *Smartwatch 12*? 🐶💔 And don’t sleep on those *AirPods Pro 3*! They said, “Let’s add ambient noise cancelation to drown out your existential dread!” 🤖💀 (Leaked quote: “I can’t hear the pain of reality over my smooth jazz playlist.”) What’s next? My bet is that Apple unveils a *HomePod v3* that can also cook dinner and judge you for not working out enough, because why not? Expect “Apple, did you gain weight?” to hit differently in 2025! 🤯🍽️ 🌌 In the end, Apple is just like Andy from Toy Story—always leaving us “to infinity and beyond” with prices that make us seethe and cope! 💀💔💸 #AppleEvent #iPhone17 #MemeMadness