🚨🎉 BREAKING: Apple unveils the iPhone 17! 🎉🚨 And guess what? It’s basically a glorified flashlight with a phone attached 🔦📱💡! Introducing the A19 chip, aka “The Chip That Could,” larger 6.3" display (because bigger is better, amirite? 🙄) and 120Hz ProMotion, which is basically Apple saying, “We can make your scrolling even smoother while your bank account gets a little rougher.” 💸💀 🎤🔥 *Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, we just added more nits because we want you to see your poor decisions clearly!”* 😂🤡 Also, this bad boy boasts a stunning brightness of—wait for it—3,000 nits! Your screen will literally burn your retinas 🔥👀! As if getting sunburned in the summer isn’t enough! 🌞 *This is fine* meme intensifies as you squint at those insane price tags 💰💸! But don’t worry, fam, the iPhone 17 is still totally worth it! Just ask Drake, who’s now pointing at the “$1,199” price tag like 🤨💀. 👀🔥 HOT TAKE: If you’re not flexing your iPhone 17 at Starbucks, are you even living? Guaranteed to be 10x better than your current life! Next prediction: By iPhone 20, Apple will just embed an OLED screen in our eyeballs. 🧠📲 #TheFutureIsNow #Stonks