🍏💥 **BREAKING: Apple's Executive Game of Musical Chairs Continues!** 💥🍏 So, like, Apple is playing "who's that executive?" and honestly, I’m just here for the chaos. 🤡 According to our *totally reliable* friend Bloomberg's Mark Gurman (not a name you can trust, just like my ex), they're shuffling their execs harder than I shuffle my Spotify playlist. 💀🎶🕺 💪 Ex-COO Jeff Williams is peacing out this year like he's leaving an awkward family dinner (yikes). Eddy Cue is swooping in to babysit the health and fitness teams (so no more eating donuts on the job, I guess? 🍩🤔), and the Health Plus subscription is dropping sooner than my crush after I sent them a meme. 🙃💔 Meanwhile, Craig Federighi has his fingers in the watchOS pie, and John Ternus is being the watch hardware g*ddess that he is. Y’all be like, "Who's Johnny Srouji?" and honestly? Same! Rumor has it he’s currently evaluating if Apple's the place for him or if he’d rather open a coffee shop. ☕🔥 **Developer quotes**: "Why are we even having this meeting? I thought it was just free donuts!" 🥴💰 At this point, I'm convinced Apple is preparing for a reality show called "Keeping Up With the Cooks." 📺✨🔥 **Hot Take:** In 2030, Apple will replace all human execs with AI that both executes business models and orders Chipotle. Stonks, baby! 🚀💸✨ Share this if you live for the chaos! 🔥🍏