🚨🤑 STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING! The new iPhone 17 lineup just dropped, and it’s honestly giving “Beauty, The Beast, and Some Dude at the Bar!” 🤡🍏💔 Let’s dissect this tech tragedy: 🍕 Basically, Apple has taken the phrase “more is more” and smashed it with a sledgehammer. We got the iPhone 17, the iPhone 17 Pro, and (drumroll please) the iPhone Air. Like, who asked for an Air? Is this a phone or an undercooked soufflé? 🥴💨 #GordonRamsayInTech In the words of one "leaked" Apple dev: “Yeah, we basically just slapped some lipstick on the old models and called it a day. Still waiting for my pay raise.” 💰🔥 We went from “one iPhone” to “pick your poison”—🤷‍♂️ *iPhone 17: The Just Kidding, Nothing’s Changed Edition* vs. *iPhone 17 Pro: For When You Wanna Flex on Your Friends* 😎💅. Can’t wait to see TikTokers unbox these beauties like they just got a new pet iguana! 🦎💚 HOT TAKE: By 2025, Apple will release a model that literally just plays your Spotify playlist and drops calls every 5 minutes for a cool $5,000. *Stonks*, baby! 🚀📱💸