🔥🏆 **BREAKING NEWS - THE iPHONE 17 SCRATCHARMAGEDDON!** 🚀🤖 🚨 Apple just dropped the hottest tea since that time everyone found out iPhones were slowly turning into Swiss cheese 🧀! So, you thought you were buying the *GOD OF PHONES* with the iPhone 17 Pro? Think again! Turns out, your precious device is more scratched than your momma's vinyl collection 🎶💀. 💡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Yeah, bro, ‘material transfer’ is just a fancy way of saying, ‘Oops, our bad. Better keep the MagSafe stands away from your $1,000+ pocket calculator’” 🤡✌️. In short, those aren’t scratches! They’re just your phone getting a little lovin’ from the MagSafe stand 😏❤️. But hold up! If you’re feeling fancy, you might just want to clean that MagSafe like it’s your 9th-grade crush’s mixtape—*otherwise, it’s a one-way ticket to Scratch City*. Oh, and can we talk about the camera bump situation? JerryRigEverything's like, “Why didn’t y’all chamfer this thing?” while Apple's looking like: “This is fine…” 🔥🙃. **Hot Take Alert!** 🚨🔥 I predict by 2025, iPhones will come covered in bubble wrap—*and we’ll all be fresh out of a warranty and a ‘phone’ makeover! 🛠️💰*