🚨🛒💥 IT’S TIME for Amazon’s October Prime Day: aka *Prime Big Deal Days* – where your wallet screams and the thrill of online shopping becomes an Olympic sport! 💸😳💪 So, what does this mean? Imagine ZDNET sitting in a dark room surrounded by coding ninjas 🥷, hustling like they’re in a real-life Squid Game 🦑 just to tell you what’s *lit* vs. what’s *cringe* on the Amazon shelf. 🤔💡💀 Let’s break down this snooze-fest, fam! ZDNET claims “data” and “research” like they’re trying to unlock the secrets of the universe, but are they just building a pyramid scheme for stonks 🌄💰? They probably just want you to buy more USB-C cables for your five-week-old iPhone! 🤷‍♂️ 💬 Leaked quote from an “insider” at Amazon: “Dude, we just throw discounts at stuff like confetti—then watch them click buy like hamsters on a wheel, no cap!” 🐹💥 So grab your credit card, your caffeine, and prepare to navigate this jungle of deals like you’re dodging ex-roommates at a party! 🥴💳 And remember, if you end up with seven toaster ovens and no bread, *this is fine* meme style. 🔥 🔥🔥 Prediction: By 2024, Amazon will start selling “exclusive discount hunting licenses.” Pay to play, baby. Who’s in? 🤖💰