🚨 BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS! 🚨 Amazon is pulling a total "WE GOT NEW TOYS" for their annual fall hardware event on September 30 in NYC! 🗽🎉 We’re about to get smacked with fresh Echo smart speakers and some Kindles – you know, devices that are literally just there to remind us that reading is still a thing. 📚💀 🎤 *Leaked inside scoop from an Amazon dev*: 👨‍💻 “We’re just throwing stuff at the wall and hoping it sticks! If it doesn't, just throw in an RGB feature and call it a day.” 💁‍♂️ #Innovation 🙄 So get ready to spend your hard-earned cash on speakers that probably listen to you more than your therapist does! 🤖💰 How many times do we have to ask Alexa “What’s the weather?” before she gets a personality upgrade? “This is fine” - me, every day when I remember I live in the world of smart devices. 🤡🔥 But here’s the spicy prediction: If the new Kindle doesn’t come with a built-in espresso machine to fuel my reading decisions, I’m officially declaring it DOA. 🥴📉 Share this chaos, fam! Because if we gotta sit through lecturing about “advanced algorithms,” at least we can roast them like marshmallows over the dumpster fire that is Amazon's *so-called* innovation. 🔥💀 #Stonks 🚀