🚨📰 HOLD UP, BASKETBALL NERDS! 🏀🚨 Amazon just lit a fire under the NBA with their latest brainchild: AI that’s tracking players like they’re TikTok influencers! 🔍🤖💥 Call it "NBA Inside the Game," but honestly, it sounds more like "Amazon's New Boring Algorithm" 🤡💀 Imagine this: your grandma trying to understand "Expected Field Goal Percentage" while you’re just trying to watch the game in peace. 😩📺 You’ll now know how hard a shot was, like “bruh, did he just take a space jump shot from Saturn?!” 🚀🌌 Coach’s gonna pull out a spreadsheet mid-game, and we’re all gonna be like, “This is fine.” 🙃🔥 And get this—29 BODY PARTS tracked! 💪🦶 Elbow? ✔️ Knee? ✔️ Your player’s emotional state? 🤔 It’s a whole ass documentary on movement. If they miss, don’t worry, it’ll just be "an expected miss" and a new stat will emerge: “Crying While Shooting” 💧📉 In the words of a leaked dev chat, “We’re basically making basketball into a sociology thesis... but for stonks!” 💰📊 So prepare for the most cringe-worthy stats you never knew you needed. 🔥💀 Expect players to be analyzed like they’re in a science fair project: “Look, Mom! I tracked the angle of his elbow! Am I getting a scholarship now?” 🤓🎓 Hot take: By 2026, teams will be playing with pure data, and the MVP will be a literal AI. In the future, basketball will be played on spreadsheets, and we’ll all wear goggles just to understand the metrics. IT IS HAPPENING!! 🥳🖖😂