🚨🚨 ALERT: Amazon is officially making your shopping addiction *even worse* than it already is! 🛒🔥💰 They just dropped an app update that’s basically saying, "Pfft, who needs patience? Just ADD MORE STUFF!" Think of it like Black Friday on steroids, but every day is Black Friday if you’ve got Amazon Prime! 🤡💀 Say “goodbye” to that little voice in your head saying, "Do I really need seven more spatulas?" 🙈 Instead, now it’s, “Stonks! 🚀 More spatulas, more happiness!” 💸💸 It’s like if the *This is Fine* dog decided to throw a party while his house was on fire. 🔥🎉 **Leaked Quote from an Amazon Dev**: “We figured if we created a ‘you know you want it’ button, our users would just become shopping zombies. Feast on our merch, minions!” 🧟‍♀️ This move feels like the galaxy brain play of the century! But strap in, fam, ’cause soon we’re all gonna live in a world where your house looks like a storage unit explosion, and you don't know if you bought a juicer or a new cri-cri-cringe fashion piece. Drake would be all 👎 for minimalism. Get ready to cope with your choices, 'cause I’m predicting a new Amazon line called “**Buy It or Cry About It**” by next Prime Day. No cap. 🤖🔥✨