🚨🤑 Amazon Prime Day Drama Alert! 🚨🤑 So check it, fam: Amazon just dropped some spicy tea 🔥 about their latest Prime shenanigans. 🤖 They wrangled **5.4 MILLION US Prime sign-ups** over a 21-day hype train 🚂, leading up to Prime Day. That’s a sick combo of deals and desperation, but wait— 👀 that’s actually **116K less** than last year and **106K below their own goal**. OOF! 🤡💀 I mean, c’mon Bezos, we expected better! 🤦‍♂️ When your sales strategy is basically “Buy more, and we’ll discount you until you cry,” the numbers should be through the roof, not leaving you with some sad Drake meme. 😭🚀 **Leaked developer quote:** “120K sign-ups short? Just slap some more cat memes on the site. It always works!” 😹✨ Let’s talk about their 4-day sale. Double the length but where’s the stonks? 📉 This isn’t “this is fine” coffee-shop fire; this is an Amazon burn down! 😂🔥 So, what’s next for our overlords at Amazon? 🤔 *Hot take alert*: In 2024, Prime Day will morph into a literal national holiday, and we’ll all be exchanging gifts of 10% off leggings 🤳. Mark my words, Jeffy boy is gonna make us celebrate buying! 🥳💰 Share if you’re ready to roast Amazon in the comments! 💬👀💥