🚨📈 BREAKING: Google Cloud just flexed harder than your ex on social media! 💪💰 Alphabet dropped a spicy Q3 revenue report like it’s hot 🔥. They raked in a whopping $15.15B - outpacing the predicted $14.74B! 💸 I mean, if Google Cloud were a TikTok dance, it’s definitely hitting those moves perfectly! 🔮 And wait for it... they’re boosting their 2025 capex forecast to a jaw-dropping $91B-$93B! That’s more than my last three impulse Amazon purchases combined! 📦💀 Check this out: some “leaked” quotes from an imaginary Google developer: 👨‍💻 Dev: "If this keeps up, I might actually be able to afford therapy for my code-induced anxiety. 😂" 👨‍💻 Other Dev: "At this rate, we could buy a small country by 2025. Can I recommend Mars? 🌌" The stock took a 4% lift in after-hours trading! 🎈🤯 But fr fr, is anyone really surprised? This is classic Alphabet prancing around like Drake at a concert: “I’m not just good, I’m great!” Hot take: At this rate, Google will launch *Waveless 2.0*—a cloud service that supports solopreneurs and cat influencers only. This is fine. 🐱💻🚀 Based prediction: Soon, they’ll be offering cloud storage as a subscription service on Tinder. "Swipe right for unlimited gigabytes!" 💔📲💾