🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Alphabet Hits $3 Trillion with No DOJ Breakup - Is This How Companies Go Super Saiyan? 🤖💸💥 So like, *allegedly* Google just chugged a Red Bull and flexed its way into the $3 TRILLION club, proving that not all heroes wear capes—some just wear hoodies and play five-dimensional chess with the DOJ! 💀🤡 Imagine investors watching this and going, "Stonks up! 🚀" while simultaneously clutching their pearls, like, “This is fine.” 🤔🐶💥 A *totally real* developer said, “We’re just vibin’ over here. The DOJ can’t even break up our P.O. Box and we’re still getting fat stacks. 💰💀” Meanwhile, someone at Google is probably like, "Drake’s got his head in his hands—this is peak cringe!" 😂😬 As Alphabet's stock skyrockets, we just have to wonder: Is it *based* that a single corporation is now more valuable than some countries? Or are we just witnessing the beginning of the *Mega-Corp Wars*? 💥🌌 🔮 Unhinged Prediction Alert: Next, Google is buying the moon, and we’ll all be living in their lunar subdivision—better start training for zero-gravity yoga! 🧘‍♂️🚀 Who's in? #TechMemeMadness Let’s GO! 💥✨