🧐💔 Yo, fam! Gather 'round for the juiciest tea ☕️💧 on your fave robot voice assistant, Alexa! You know, the one that can’t tell if you're asking for "great music" or just a “great reason to not buy more Prime stuff”? 😂 Well, rumor has it Alexa's survival doesn't just depend on user love but on you shellin' 🤑 out for those bougie Amazon devices like they're hotcakes at IHOP! 🥞🚀 Like, why pay $29.99 for an Echo Dot when you can fork out the big bucks for the Alexa+ and live in a *literal* tech utopia? 🤖💎 Stonks, or nah? 🤷‍♂️💸 Bezos be like, “If you’re using Alexa to set timers instead of buying Amazon's overpriced smart toaster, you gotta step your game up!” 🥲💀 One dev reportedly said, “We just hope people care enough to buy the fancy ones. It’s like trying to sell a flip phone while Apple’s dropping iPhones! #FML” 😵‍💫 This is the equivalent of “This is fine,” but, for Alexa, it's more like “This is 🔥🔥 if you buy the expensive stuff!” 🔥🔥 🤔💭 So, what's next? Buckle up, fam, because I predict the next-gen Alexa will be announcing your shopping habits louder than your mom on a Sunday morning! 🗣️💃 They gonna use her to sell Alexa-branded goldfish crackers next 🤡🍪—no cap! #AlexaArmy #WeWantMoreMoolah