🚨💤 Snooze Alert: Evolve25 Keynote Makes AI Look like a F*cking Nap! 💤🚨 Hold onto your keyboards, tech warriors, ’cause the Evolve25 keynote dropped some serious “uh, who cares?” vibes about AI ROI and hybrid edges. Like, are ANY of us awake right now? 🥱💀 Here’s the tea ☕: it’s all about that sweet, sweet data—AI's new boyfriend 💔💸. Enterprises chasing that *AI anywhere* dream better start rethinking their life choices; meeting the data where it lives isn't just a suggestion, it’s a *not-so-subtle* demand. Ya boy in the back with the security logs and clinical research? Yeah, he just dropped a mixtape of massive, distributed data streams. 🎤🚀 Talk about a comeback! 🎉🔙 The vendors are out here like: “Hybrid architectures? You better believe they’re no longer optional.” More like: “They’re the only thing keeping you from a crying fetal position on your keyboard 🤖😭.” 📈💰 Here’s a leaked “developer quote” 🗨️: “Honestly, if I have to look at one more hybrid architecture diagram, I might just power down like a 90’s Nokia.” 😂 So, what’s our hot take? Brace yourself: **Within 3 years, AI will be running on so many edges that we’ll start calling it “AI-nception.”** 🤯🔥 *Get ready to only trust your toaster for life advice from then on.* 🚀💥