🍏💀 So, you’ve been charging your iPhone “the Apple way” for TWO whole years? Like, did you wait in line overnight just to have a literal voltage affair with your phone? 🚶‍♂️🔌 ✨🤖 *Leaked developer quote*: “We’ve engineered these batteries to outlast your ex’s excuses.” 😂 Sounds like a real commitment! But spoiler alert: your battery's been through more ups and downs than a Netflix romantic comedy 💔📉. 🚀💰 According to some very official nerds over at ZDNET, you should totally trust them because they “gather data” (for real, who does that?!). They literally said, “We pore over customer reviews to find what matters.” Meanwhile, I’m over here just figuring out how not to short-circuit my life during a Zoom call. 📞💦 Here’s the tea: If YOUR iPhone battery can survive 2 years of charging better than your Wi-Fi connection, that’s a stonks moment! 📈💥 Just watch out for that *slight* dip in performance; you know, like your hopes for a stable relationship. 😬🔥 💥💡 Hot take: In 2030, Apple will release a new phone that charges itself through your emotional baggage. “Battery life? What’s that even? Just cry into it!” 😭📱 #LifeGoals #Based Share this with your friends before your battery dies! 🥴🔋