🔥🚨 *BREAKING: CNET Fitness Expert Has Been Vending Fitness Tech Like It's Stonks* 🚨🔥 Yo, fam, get ready to cringe harder than your dad trying to TikTok dance, because our boomer pals over at CNET have been grinding on fitness tech like it’s the next Fortnite season pass! 💀💪💰 *Resident fitness guru* (totally not a robot in disguise 🤖) just dropped his top 9 fitness gadgets, and I can’t even. We got gadgets that make you sweat just thinking about the price! 🤯 💬 “We made these gadgets overpriced just to see if people would buy them, and they did, LOL” – CNET Developer #42 (totally a real person) Yeah, so if you’re vibing with your *Apple Watch* that doubles as a spiffy paperweight, here’s your sign to jump on the cringe train! 🚂💨 Forget those overpriced fidget spinners; we're talking heart rate monitors that scream “exercise NOW or die later!” 👀💥 *Spoiler Alert*: If you splurge on these, you'll only 'work out' by scrolling through your fitness app while eating pizza. 🍕📱 🔥 Hot take: In 2024, we will ALL be replaced by AI personal trainers that don’t judge your potato-chip consumption! Mark my words! 🤡💯 Go ahead and share this chaos with your #fitfam! Who needs fitness advice when you can just vibe? 🤪💀