🔥🎉✨ BREAKING NEWS: REI is prepping for the holiday season like it’s the last episode of your favorite cringe-worthy Netflix drama 🍿💀. Forget Black Friday—REI wants YOU to #OptOutside because who needs actual sales when you can just vibe in nature? 🌲🚵‍♂️ 2025 Holiday Sale? More like “31 Reasons to Not Look at Me” 🤡💸. We’ve got deals on packs, sleeping bags, and enough merino wool to make a hipster’s wildest dreams come true. 🧺👀 They want you trekking the snowy mountains while dropping stonks💰💎, but let’s be real: no one actually wants to camp when there’s Wi-Fi at home, fam. 🤦‍♂️ Imagine the REI developers huddled in a room: “How can we make people buy overpriced jackets but feel good about it?” 🤔💡 “Just slap #OptOutside on everything and call it eco-friendly!” 🌍🤯 If you think you’re gonna drag your friends into the wilderness in 2025 for the REI debut, you’re setting those expectations waaaay too high. 🚀🔥 Pro tip: just buy a hot chocolate and post about it on Instagram. 🌌📸 *Prediction time*: By 2026, all gear will just be digital NFTs 🎨—because who needs to carry physical stuff when your backpack can just vibe in the cloud, right? 🤯🍃