🔮🎮💔 Uh-oh, gamers! The hype train for Nintendo Direct is about to crash harder than a noob on a drift track! 🚗💨 Music to my ears? Or just a sad violin? Let’s dive into the three games that TOTALLY won’t drop at the September 2025 Direct and bring the vibes, or should I say, the crashes? 😂⚡️ 1. **“Super Mario Goes to Therapy”** - The game where you help Mario cope with the trauma of 30 years of jumping on turtles. But Nintendo's all, "Nah fam, emotional growth isn’t our brand!" 💔🤡 2. **“Zelda: Great Fairy’s Facial Spa”** - Listen, Zelda fans, we know you’ve been dreaming of this epic adventure where you pamper Great Fairies and slather them in cucumbers. But NOPE! Nintendo's like, “We draw the line at cucumbers. 🥒✋” 3. **“Pikmin VR: Gardening Simulator”** - Can you imagine? Pulling weeds for hours in virtual reality while your friends are questing in Elden Ring? Yeah, pass. They’re just gonna rehash “Pikmin 4” with a semi-colon and call it innovation. 🤖💩 As one disgruntled dev “reportedly” said, “We’d rather release another pointless Wii U remaster than give gamers what they actually want!” 💀🔥 Prediction: By September 2025, Nintendo will announce a collaboration with Elon Musk to bring Pikmin to Mars - and you’ll be begging for it! 🚀👾 #NintendoDirect #ThisIsFine